Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Dismissing Adoptees

Seems we adoptees just can't win. We are either so traumatized by our bad experience that our opinions aren't valid because we are the "minority" and it "almost never happens". Or if a bad experience wasn't had, the simple loss of one's mother, father, family, culture, possible language, medical history, and factual documentation never seems to be enough of an "excuse" to speak out against the practice, and some dark reason for speaking out is thereby invented. Unless a person is crapping skittles, somehow their opinion isn't valid.

All the "get over its", the "you are angry/bitter/joyless/in need of the Christian God" , the "be gratefuls that you weren't thrown in a dumpster/aborted/raised by a crackhead ho." The "my babysitter's cousins' hairdresser was adopted and she is FINE FINE FINE". They boil down to this for me: STFU. I don't want to have to be made uncomfortable by your pain, your truth, or a confrontation of the beliefs I hold so dear. I don't want to have my ethics/morals questioned. So its easier for me to just say you are traumatized, or bitter, or angry, or any of the other stupid crap used to dismiss adoptees on a daily basis.